We're Off To Save The World Once Again, This Time I Think I'm Going to Drown
Wow, how long has it been? Doesn't matter I guess.
Hope everyone's doing alright. I'm feeling a bit more depressed and lonely than usual. I don't know. Could be because I've been listening to Park at least once a day for the past week. That'd probably do it.
I feel like I have a lot of trouble explaining myself to people. I try to talk about how I'm feeling at some moment and for some reason, I can't help but think that they're just not getting me completely. Maybe I'm too evasive about what I'm feeling still?
Midterms have come and gone. I'm a bit pissed about the 91 on my science midterm and a bit relieved about the 95 on my math regeants. What I don't understand is how my dad doesn't seem to appreciate how well I'm doing in school. Anything below perfect is something that he'll look down on. Now I know where I get that from.
I'm sporadically reading again. Player Piano, by Kurt Vonnegut. I keep coming back to this guy's books. He's a really good writer and satirist. And I understand what the book is about now too. Maybe that's because the last book I read was Brave New World, a weird one, but similar in certain aspects.
There's something not quite right with the world. Fathers putting pressure on their children to meet standards that they didn't reach, and religious people who believe that the answer to everything you ever need to worry about is 'God.' God seems to be in somewhat of a catch 22. When a 'miracle' happens, God gets all the thanks and praise, if a little girl gets violently raped/murdered, he works in mysterious ways. Let's not forget our peers. It seems harder and harder to fit in with some people. Some just seem to have drifted away. Others you are with everyday, but they've...changed.
There probably is more wrong with the world still. I just haven't opened my eyes enough. There's so much hypocrasy. There's so much pain. I've seen this much so far. I've been a victim of both. Maybe it's not so much as opening my eyes, but experiencing it firsthand.
Hope everyone's doing alright. I'm feeling a bit more depressed and lonely than usual. I don't know. Could be because I've been listening to Park at least once a day for the past week. That'd probably do it.
I feel like I have a lot of trouble explaining myself to people. I try to talk about how I'm feeling at some moment and for some reason, I can't help but think that they're just not getting me completely. Maybe I'm too evasive about what I'm feeling still?
Midterms have come and gone. I'm a bit pissed about the 91 on my science midterm and a bit relieved about the 95 on my math regeants. What I don't understand is how my dad doesn't seem to appreciate how well I'm doing in school. Anything below perfect is something that he'll look down on. Now I know where I get that from.
I'm sporadically reading again. Player Piano, by Kurt Vonnegut. I keep coming back to this guy's books. He's a really good writer and satirist. And I understand what the book is about now too. Maybe that's because the last book I read was Brave New World, a weird one, but similar in certain aspects.
There's something not quite right with the world. Fathers putting pressure on their children to meet standards that they didn't reach, and religious people who believe that the answer to everything you ever need to worry about is 'God.' God seems to be in somewhat of a catch 22. When a 'miracle' happens, God gets all the thanks and praise, if a little girl gets violently raped/murdered, he works in mysterious ways. Let's not forget our peers. It seems harder and harder to fit in with some people. Some just seem to have drifted away. Others you are with everyday, but they've...changed.
There probably is more wrong with the world still. I just haven't opened my eyes enough. There's so much hypocrasy. There's so much pain. I've seen this much so far. I've been a victim of both. Maybe it's not so much as opening my eyes, but experiencing it firsthand.
posted by Henry at 4:56 PM
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