I Need to Start to Be Myself, Cause I'm Sick of Everybody Else

Sup everyone. Vacation's finally here and I'm going to take full advantage of that time. Along with vacation from school, I now have an urge to take a social holiday too. I just want to be by myself for a while.

You see, I woke up yesterday morning wondering who the hell I was. I didn't know if I was being myself or pretending to be someone else. I also woke up thinking that I might be losing respect with people. I could just be paranoid, but it seems like people act one way around me, and while I'm not there I'm the subject of conversation. I just want to get away from that. Maybe if I cut off contact from most people for about a week I can restart, find myself again, and everything will be alright. It might work. I've certainly have been alone for much longer than a week in the past.

Here's what I know about myself:
1. extremely self-concious
2. normally inside or beside myself
3. get a hollow feeling when I think about love
4. for the most part stoic
5. get nervous talking to people
6. thinks the world is going crazy (if it isn't already)
7. paranoid
8. regret almost everything I do (sooner or later)

That's about all I can think of. I think this is me. Well I know I didn't make this up. It's at least true for someone. Now I have to go to Church. More of God. Why does it seem like bad things happen to good people? Answer that for me, God. You're just a concept made up a couple thousand years ago to give people a reason to be productive and 'good' citizens during their lifetimes.